The Butterfly in the Jar

This has been one busy week. I had a sudden realisation that I’m really running out of time for the upcoming tradeshow...eek! Next Saturday on the 20th is the Marmee’s Circle ‘She Made It’ Tradeshow.

I literally do not think there is enough hours in my day! I have to squeeze in work, my little monster and all his copious amounts of cuddles (it’s so fuppin cute ‘Mommy, I love you all day long’), making cards and things for the tradeshow, eating and fitting in the gym. I think I’m meant to fit sleep in there too. My living room has pretty much become a room full of paper poppies and cards. It’s cute but I have so much work to do!! I am working my fingers to the bone...in a way literally since my wrists now click when I’m manipulating paper. Not good but all for the love of a paper poppy!

Time seems to be rapidly escaping me at the minute. I honestly find it hard to believe nearly a whole year has passed. It’s been a busy year for us and we’ve had A LOT happen. Last month on the 19th marked my third year living in Canada. It’s kind of weird because in a way it feels like I’ve lived here for a lot longer and in others I feel like I’ve just arrived. Life has been full of many twists and turns since 2007 and now in 2010 I feel like in a way I have arrived. Not fully...because if you ever say you’ve arrived I think you’re stunting yourself from everything that life has to offer. To me I’ve arrived at a point where I am generally happy and where I want to be. 2010 marked the year monster and I eventually moved into our own place and he eventually had a proper decent sized bedroom of his own. Which, to him was a pretty big deal. My parents had lovingly put both of us up for over two years and taken care of me and Ben while I stumbled to find my feet again and get my life back on track. They deserve an award for that one!

This year has had some other pretty big events. Ben started school for the first time and seems to be doing really well. I just need to work out how to get him to sit still for more than 1 second so he can sit at circle in school without fidgeting. That is one thing I have worked out this year, my son is more like me than I would’ve ever though. He fidgets, loves people, loves adventures, is point blank stubborn and is rebellious over pretty much everything. We butt heads but he’s so much fun. As he’s getting older I’m loving seeing who he is becoming. He turned a mighty 5 this year...I wanted to cry...when did he get so big! I turned 25...I wanted to cry when I realised I can no longer say ‘when I grow up...’ because technically I already have!

A rather massive event for me rather than Ben is that on December 26th 2010 (yep...Boxing day) will mark three years since Ben’s dad walked out on us. This year in July our divorce was approved. I hate being 25 and being divorced... but I love that I’m free. I can sum up my marriage and how awful it was by saying it’s like a butterfly trapped in a jar. The butterfly can see everything on the outside but can’t quite reach it because it’s trapped and confined to the walls of the jar. The capturer controls what the butterfly sees, where it goes and at any point can cut the air to jar. The butterfly is merely something to be admired by other people and for the captor to display. Otherwise, its life is stunted. It’s only when the butterfly is released that you can see its true beauty and it can be free to do what it wants to do. This is not my view on all marriages...just mine.

So on a final note, to anyone in the Ajax area on Saturday 20th November get your toushies down the McLean Community Centre for a great day of crafts by female designers. ...not a plug at all :P

My mum's hugs are the best medicine.

At the minute my life is a little jam packed and to be honest my emotions are a little out there in the abyss. I never used to be a particularly emotional person...well I would say I wasn’t. I didn’t cry at sad movies (except Bambi...which if you don’t cry at really you have no heart or a really strong resolve) and the small stuff didn’t bother me so much. I hated being separated from my mum for any sort of period of time when I was younger...I guess to an extent I maybe still do since I call her every day...more than once.

I remember three distinct times when I did get really upset before I hit 18. My granny died suddenly...that was a complete shock and I still miss her. I miss her baking and that she made me a sheet cake every birthday that mum and I would decorate. I miss the buns she made in two halves that she would send home with us on Sundays and mum would stick together with jam and decorate with icing and sprinkles...then mum would let me lick the spoon from the icing. I DO NOT miss having to eat the disgusting chewy sausage rolls she’d give us on Sundays. I miss her hugs a lot and going to stay with her once in a while. She was a great person that I would love to be like. The woman chased a guy down that tried to steal her handbag when she was in her 70s!! Who wouldn’t want to be like that!!

Secondly, I remember getting upset when our family cat got put down because he had heart disease and could barely walk. He was a little fighter and I miss how much he hated me for trying to hold him. I remember far too well being upset when I was bullied at school. Most kids were bullied so I wasn’t quite so out there on my own. I was more upset and did used to cry when it was a teacher doing it...only to have my school tell me later when I did eventually send them a letter regarding her behaviour that it was meant to be constructive. I have no idea how telling a 14 year old that she wasn’t pretty and wouldn’t amount to anything was ‘constructive’. Unfortunately for me I let her comments and loathing glances follow me through my life like an elephant in the room. Between the ages of 13 and 18 she had systematically shattered any self confidence and self worth I had. So I went through life making a series of bad decisions thinking that really I could do no better than this. It is unfortunately a sad abuse of power by someone who had so many of their own problems. I’m now 25 and am finally gaining some of my own confidence and self worth again.

I cried when I walked away from my parents at the airport in Canada when they moved here and I left them to go home...I looked like an eejit but I didn’t want to go. I cried when I got back. The distance felt so large but thankfully it wasn’t. I missed not having my mum close by and I missed her hugs. I’m thankful I had skype and a mum who was always available for a chat. I’m thankful I have her 2 minutes down the road for what is seriously the best hug you will ever get. I cried a lot during my marriage. I cried over how low I felt and how he made me feel and why I didn’t seem to ever be good enough at anything I did no matter how hard I was trying. Everything he was doing made me cry. I cried at how tired I was all the time. It was during this time that I turned into an emotional wreck...from just before my parents left until a while after my ex husband left.

I don’t think I ever really recovered on the emotional stakes in some ways. I cry more...I don’t like it. However, I do have a higher resolve and am more passive over some things. I’ve come a long way since I was 18 and I’ve rebuilt my life since my ex. I do things because I have to and not always because I want to. I am happier now than I have been before. Recently, as I had said before I received some bad news health wise. I have to go for a couple of pretty horrible procedures. I’m not liking it and nor do I want to do it. Unfortunately I have no choice. The experience has made me a bit emotional about it all. I originally planned to keep the whole thing pretty quiet until I talked to my mum. She told me that the more people that know means the more people that can pray. She is right and I know I’m in good hands and that everything in life happens for a reason and has a purpose. I just would like to skip over it with people though because when people know, they want to hug me (I LOVE hugs)...then I want to cry. I know people say crying is good for you...but I’d like my more non emotional days back. Maybe this is part of being weathered as you get older. I wish I could be more like my mum or my granny...I grew up with great women who are so strong. Neither of them ever seem (or seemed) to sweat the small stuff and stood their ground. I think sometimes I need to take a leaf out of their books the most in life...it might help.

***50% off sale!!***

Just a note to my followers....hop on over to my website for my sale!



50% off all Halloween cards featured on Lucky7Designs.ca



Great time to buy for next year!!

If handmade crafts and papercraft get you excited please follow my other blog -

http://lucky7designs.blogspot.com/

Trick or Treat

It’s been a pretty busy weekend. Ben had a birthday party at Chuck E Cheeses on Saturday for the afternoon so I had to run out that morning and find a present, card and wrapping paper which wasn’t Christmas since that’s all I have. However before that I had to go sign up with the gym because I am determined to lose that 27lbs I gained and also to just get fit....ask me in a month if I’m still so determined...

Now as most people who know me can tell you, me and kids are kind of hit and miss. I LOVE my own and have a ton of fun with him but generally I’m really not a kid kind of person. I do appear to be like a child magnet at times...it’s nearly like they sense it. So I have one child...I’m used to one child. So you can imagine how scary walking into a room full of a hundred sugar filled hyper kids is. Wow...I did not realise it was possible to scream/shout/yell that loud. There appeared to be around 6 birthday parties going on alongside the normal customers. Parents walking around looking bored out of their tree or telling their child to be patient and wait...which didn’t work.
Now I did consider Chuck E Cheese’s for Ben’s birthday party...but to be honest the cost is just so enormous. Since his dad refused to contribute in any way to the birthday party it was really just too much on my own. Well after having seen this birthday party I’m glad I didn’t. The kids had an awesome time and I’m not knocking that at all. However, the parents had clearly paid for a premium package but seemed to get treated the same way as the other groups who hadn’t. Due to their being 6 birthdays they combined the birthday songs and meeting Chuck E Cheese (which you know, seeing a fat mouse in a baseball cap is the centre of this whole thing) so each party literally got only a few minutes of mouse time. It just seemed like such a rip off for what you got. The kids did have a great time which is the point...and I had a totally knackered little boy by the end of the day. However, it reinforced that I’m glad I did Ben’s Pirate themed birthday at home...it was worth repainting a wall and having pringles smooshed into my carpet because he actually had more fun.

As everyone knows yesterday was Halloween...now I have to admit I’m not pleased it was on a Sunday and I love that our church does superhero Sunday on Halloween for the kids to still dress up in a non scary way. I’m teaching Ben this is merely a fun meaningless holiday because to me that’s what it is. The scariness and gore is meant to be fun and I want him to see it as that and nothing more. We did our trick or treating as a fireman and a black cat and he collected a lot of candy from just two streets...that’s all we do because I think that is plenty for a 5 year old. I’m teaching him it’s a fun holiday and fun to decorate for BUT the big holiday in our home is Christmas. I’m like the Christmas child...I love it. Everything about Christmas is so much fun and such a great reminder of how great that time of year is. While Ben is all chat about Santa, I do make sure he’s aware of the real reason for the season. This year because he’s older I am going to push it a lot more with him being doing some arts and crafts which relate to the Christmas story...I’ll post up anything I find useful!

For now, for anyone who doesn’t know....Lowes hold Build and Grow Clinics. These are completely free and your child learns to use a hammer. They receive and apron and goggles which they get to keep and a kit to build. Once it’s built they receive a badge to be sewn onto their apron and a certificate to say they completed it. Ben loves it! Last time he made a bat so when he got home he coloured it in. Make sure you call a week in advance to reserve your place at a 10am or 11am slot. You can find more information here -

https://www.lowesbuildandgrow.com/Home.aspx

Note online sign up is for U.S. only.

Remember to keep an eye on my other blog for updates from Lucky 7 Designs!

http://lucky7designs.blogspot.com/

http://www.lucky7designs.ca/

Books, Books...and my Reader

As I had mentioned the past few weeks have been pretty chronic. I did find out the source of my pain and am on new antibiotics...happy happy joy joy. I’m just hoping these do not make me so ill this time...I have work I need to do for the Marmee’s Circle Tradeshow so need to be able to do it! Don’t forget to check out my webpage and blog for new products!!

http://lucky7designs.blogspot.com/

http://www.lucky7designs.ca/

So this week I did get a nice surprise...a couple actually (yay!). I came home from work a couple of days ago to find my brand spanking new business cards had arrived...so pretty. I also got my car sticker and my address labels. The cards make me feel a little more official now. I’m not writing my details on a random receipt I turf out of my bottomless handbag...people do not need to see that I bought copious amounts of reduced bread from metro. I LOVE bread...but that’s a different story and also why I’ll never be skinny! I have the website and the business cards now...it feels like a more firm step forward in the right direction. I also got them in lots of time for the tradeshow which is perfect. I just hope everything takes off.

My other nice surprise was that my new Amazon Kindle arrived. Now, I have to admit when digital book readers first made their way onto the market I was kind of a bit meh about them. To my friends and people who know me quite well they’ll know I have a bookshelf in my house overflowing with books. I also have a basket of books waiting to be read beside my bed. To further increase my stock I trade books with my mum. I love to read. I love to escape into a book for a while and have a break from life as I know it. My bookshelf overflows with books from many, many different backgrounds. I’ll admit the heaviest presence on the shelves is that of art books. From books on artists like Toulouse Lautrec and Giotto to books from museums like the Louvre and even an out of print book on the nude I have a lot of art books. The variance on my shelves is quite dramatic. I have recipe books, comic romance novels by Irish writers, biographies, true crime and a whole shelf of children’s books for my monster. (I was reluctant to give up the shelf but I guess I had to at some point). Our house is full of books hidden everywhere.

To me, I love having a book in my hand. A visible feasible work of art that I can flick through the crumpled pages and see the words divided into paragraphs and chapters. I love my bookshelf and all the books contained in it. I keep my books after I read them so I can re read them at a later date. Everything in its place...somewhere and in pristine condition...I’m weird like that. So as you can imagine the idea of not having a paper copy in front of me kind of jarred with my outlook. Until...I got my Kindle. You see, I’m not ready to give up my books and I’ll still buy a book I love. However my kindle enables me to travel without having a massive book in my bag. It’s so simple and I can have all these books loaded onto it and switch at any time. There’s another benefit to this... did you know Amazon has free books for it. You can add so many classics for free! I have some Thomas Hardy, some Beatrix Potter and some Homer all contained within this little piece of technology...and it cost me nothing. Classics at my fingertips. I did however buy a book, one I have been searching for, for quite a while. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote was my first purchased eKindle book. I also have the Bible on it...I can flick between the books and chapters so easily it’s great! ...and it was free! It also has the ability to read to you...although it sounds a little weird..but great when your eyes are tired.

It’s quite nifty I will admit. I do like it and I would encourage other people to get one...however don’t give up your paper copies of your favourites! Sometimes it’s still a lovely feeling to curl up in a seat with a book and feel the pages. I refuse to let my love of books die.

Life and Monsters

My life in a word this past month and a half...busy.

Monster had his 5th birthday...it was crazy. For me it was a mix of being sad he's growing up and so proud of who he is becoming. I honestly love him to bits and there is NOTHING I don't love...even the tantrums. He's such an amazing wee person that I am so proud to call mine.

We did the mommy and Ben day on his actual birthday which was fantastic. We made a cake covered in skulls and crossbones because, you know , we're uber cool and all that. Then on that weekend we did the party. I don't think I want to do that again...I had to repaint part of my wall...enough said. That many little boys running around my house...it was scary when you're used to dealing with just one. Ben had an awesome time and it was so nice to see him with his friends and do his thing. I did realise how considerate he is and how much pride he takes in his stuff and his house. He's grown up a lot in the past year...especially the past few months. It's now that I see it and realise that sometimes I expect too much from him...so I'm working on it and letting him be a bit freer at expressing himself. Starting with a day at our favourite spot..

Also...I've been working hard on my website...so happy it's done...check me out...

http://www.lucky7designs.ca/

I've been working on new ideas and concepts for the upcoming tradeshow. They've been coming and I've been working hard every night. I'm getting there slowly but surely.

The plan was to work on this every single night once the monster was in bed...however it didn't quite work like that. Best laid plans and all that! Life decided to throw me a curve ball instead...gotta love that. The doctor gave me some not so nice news so instead I have been balancing trying to get everything done with trying not to throw up from my meds. The past week has been pretty horrible to be blunt...a bit of a whirlwind of tears, hugs and having to spend the night sitting in my bathroom half asleep and half nauseous or having to leave work early because I'm in pain.

Thankfully the meds are done....the pain isn't but hopefully another doctor's appointment will help to work out what exactly is causing that. The next little while is looking to be a little daunting and I'm scared but life goes on and I have plenty to work on :) (and yep...I just did a smiley face...I'm a dork).

The Busiest Bees Make The Best Honey

I’ve been pretty busy over the past few weeks for a few reasons...
Firstly my little monster started school. Ben being the social butterfly that he is was totally fine with this whole concept of going to school and making new friends. I, on the other hand wanted to cry. It’s suddenly hit me how much he’s grown up *sniff* *sniff* Despite not having been in J.K last year he seems to be doing pretty well...except for one little thing...
We’re rushing out of the house one morning...running a little late (not like me at all...really). Ben’s all sorted...uniform on, breakfast eaten, morning allotment of Handy Manny done and faux-hawk in place...except for his boxers on backwards. After a heated discussion on the topic I decided to choose my battles and let it fly. I however am not quite so organised quelle surprise. I have make up on (might not look up to par but it’s on), hair sorted, I’m wearing clothes (they might not match) and I have shoes...go me! I’m getting into the car and accidentally catch my finger in the door and say ‘crap!’. I’d like to clarify I don’t believe crap is a swear word...words like s**t are. However, my son repeats it and laughs....I’m off to a great start. I don’t want him to repeat this at school just in case someone else would find it offensive. So the conversation ensues....

‘Ben don’t say that. It’s not very nice and could hurt someone’s feelings then you’d end up in the principal’s office’ (and mommy would be getting told off)
‘Mommy you don’t go to the principal’s office. You go to the chair’
‘The chair? Like the naughty chair?’
‘Yep’
‘Ben...how do you know about the chair? Have you been on the chair?’
‘yep’ (oh great)
‘Why were you on the chair?’
‘I was being silly’
‘ok...have other children been on the chair’
‘Yeah...I had to get off to let them on’ (*rolls eyes* oh brother...)


Thankfully it turns out the school doesn’t have a naughty chair after I asked his teacher. When a child gets excited or such like they’re asked to go sit on their chair or to sit on it properly. *phew* No principal’s office yet.

Although, the little monster was on a roll last week... We went to register with a doctor and I got the string of 20 questions...but one in particular struck a cord with Ben...
‘Do you smoke?’
‘No.’
‘Yes she does. Me and Granny and Granda went to our house and it smelt like SMOKE!!’
‘No...I do not smoke.’
‘She does.’
‘No I don’t...honestly.’
THIS is when the doctor gives me a look as if to say ‘sure...and I’m the Queen’.

Secondly, the reason for my MIA status is that I have been busy working on Lucky 7 Designs.



A few months ago a friend of mine approached me regarding a website and group/network that she wanted to launch. Marmee's Circle is a group of women who make amazing crafts. Everything is very different and handmade. Luckily for me she asked me to be involved in her launch by featuring Lucky 7 Designs as one of the designers. This meant I had to do a lot of updating of my blog, facebook and actually get some cards ready since my stock had dwindled. Myrtle has been unbelievable really...she’s pulled together this fantastic group of women and has pushed all of our products to the max....I owe her!




On Monday night she had the official launch party. All her blood, sweat and tears were suddenly starting to pay off. I suddenly realised that my designs are actually popular and people do want to buy them. This part was kind of foreign to me before if I’m honest because to me they’re my designs so I don’t see them in the same way as other people. The night was pretty successful on a few fronts. Myrtle has been fantastically supportive and inspirational. Her ideas are really quite fantastic.



I met another fantastic designer...and I do mean fantastic. CherryApple Art makes these amazing hair pieces and necklaces. The really funny thing is...we’ve been going to the same church for a few years and never knew each other but 4 months ago I saved one of her pieces listed on Etsy (also a very cool website) to my favourites on my computer! She’s one smart cookie and I got some major inspiration from seeing her products. I hope she expands her range because she has so much potential to take it ALOT further.



Since the launch party and talking to Myrtle and Rebecca (CherryApple Art) I decided it was time to either put my all in or stay put. Since Myrtle has sunk her all into pushing Lucky 7 Designs. I felt it was time for me to do the same. I am now the proud owner of a domain name...even though I am website illiterate and have a habit of breaking all technological equipment. I also have a pretty jazzy wee logo. My blog has been overhauled completely with new photos and for the first time I am actually proud of my little venture. I just hope it grows.

I planted the seed...the water has been added...the results will probably vary...

Letters to a Friend

In 2003 I stumbled into a very odd relationship, not one I probably would’ve found through any other means but through an odd line of friends. For 7 years I have been friends with an ex boyfriend’s friend’s friend...very odd. Our relationship morphed from a general liking and attraction into a solid friendship that has endured many years, many arguments, much stubbornness and on my part, quite a few tears. While we never ended up as boyfriend and girlfriend, possibly because one of us would’ve killed the other, we did create a kind of brother sister relationship. One in which we don’t appear to be able to let the other walk out of our life. The prospect of that is pretty much unthinkable. We fight...more than we should...angry, hurtful words, which at the end of the day, is all they are. Spells of not talking for a few months have happened but all in all I know that all I’ve ever needed to do is text or email and there he is with open ears to help, comfort, console and cheer up. I can only hope I’ve done the same for him.
Our friendship started when I moved away for university and he lived at home. We kept up via phone calls, msn and texts then met up when I went home. This was when we weren’t having a huff with each other (which I know he will claim was all me...his fault for saying retarded things). It stayed strong through my pregnancy, marriage and the breakup of my marriage. It even survived my move to Canada. Although we haven’t seen each other face to face in many years now we have always remained in contact.
Unbeknown to both of us his world was about to crumble in a pretty massive and devastating way. What happened I cannot disclose and it’s not my place. A friend who had always supported me now needed me to return the favour. Our communication is now through letters which, to be honest, is daunting as you stare at a blank page when what you really want to do is sit down, talk to them and give them a massive hug. I fill pages rambling about my life jumping from one subject to the next filling him in on me and my son, trying to make him smile or laugh as a muddle through one disaster to the next.
I guess after 7 years of knowing each other NOW is when we actually get to know each other more. It always seems to be when the big situations arise that you find out things you never would have before and find the people that stand by you. I don’t think enough people send letters. Not enough people actually take time to think about what they write or say to people anymore. So many things and meanings can come from a sentence or even a word. I think if everyone was forced to write letters to each other you would find the people you actually have a genuine connection with. Maybe that’s what they should do for married couples in therapy. Everyone should have to commit to a year of letter writing before getting married. Actually having to think and formulate a letter to someone you care about and detail what you’re thinking, what you like and what you’re doing. It’s a bit daunting, even to a friend that I’ve known for so long I stare at a page before starting to ramble hoping he gets all my quirks by now.
Through all my pages upon pages of rants, rambles and sarcastic wit I hope that what my friend realises most is that I’m still there for him, I love him and I miss him.

Shameless Plugs...

So I eventually managed to grab 5 minutes out of a busy, stressful and insomniac schedule to update my other blog and actually try to make it look pretty. If I believed in astrology I might think the two blog thing came from being a gemini.

The truth of it's origin came from a sick day off work during which I was bed bound and bored stupid. I eventually got my backside in gear and pioneered Lucky 7 Designs. My little blog to put up card making designs and wall art which I could refer people to when they want custom orders done. It's far to hard to explain to people what I make or how they work so this was kind of an easy way out.
I started the whole card making thing when I left university to have my son. I needed an artistic outlet and it's pretty much grown since then.

I did however figure that if I was going to shamelessly plug my own blog I should also plug some other people's that i find totally brillant and creative....plus it makes me not feel quite so bad.

My other little home can be found at...
Lucky 7 Designs feel free to check it out :)

For all tips on being the ultimate domestic goddess...I am sooo far from this that I need all the help I can get...
Myrtles Turtles

All those times that I've felt like the only person in the world who wants to throw her child's toy out the car window in retaliation for a tantrum I find a lot of comfort in...
Millennium Housewife

I think the office I work in has it's dramas...I think I have a new addictive favourite blog...
Secret Office Confessions

I have lots of favourite blogs who showcase the talents of amazing writers. If ever you're bored and want to read something funny or with some actual depth you can take a nosey at one of these three...
Plenty More Fish Out of Water
Time Crook
Mr London Street

It is pretty shameless plugging my own blog but I feel slightly better now to have at least highlighted a few of the fantastic blogs I've stumbled across since I started this one.

Chinese number 6

Watching Ni Hao Kai Lan...

Ben -'mommy I can say 6 in chinese'

Me -'oh really...that's great'

Ben -'Can you say 6 in Chinese'

Me -'No...I'm still working on English'

Ben -'Mommy...say Chinese'

Me -'Chinese'

Ben -'Say 6'

Me -'6'

Ben -'Now say it all together 'Chinese 6''

Me -'Chinese 6'

Ben -'There you go mommy!! You said 6 in Chinese!! Now say it on your own'

Me -'6 in Chinese'

Ben -'Well done mommy you're so smart'

Happy Birthday to me...

So on sunday the 23rd I shall officially be 25.
I made the horrible discovery that some how along the way to being a quarter of a century old I had managed to grow up. It was kinda sneaky and crept up on me.
One minute there was the whole having a baby thing...kinda scary at 20 when you're not really big into kids (However, he's quirky and weird and I get him because he's mine).
Next there was the whole getting married thing (note to anyone reading this...don't marry a twat).
Then this was followed by the disintegration of said marriage (twat found fellow twat like female to frolick with).
Then there was the move to another country... "oh Canada..."
Fifth up we have the acquisition of a career...like an actual proper one with a pension and meetings and a boss.
Then due to the career there was the car with car payments (Thor is very much worth it though).
More recently there was the house...mortgage payments, bills and insurance and what not...that's a major grown up step.
Lastly there's the divorce (Yay!!)

So I fitted all of that stuff in and then I realised that wait...that all this contributes to growing up and this life experience stuff.

AND THEN...the even more startling realisation....


I can no longer use the term "when I grow up" because technically I already am!!!


DAMMIT!!!

Kiss me...

So, as I think the whole world knows March 17th was indeed St Patrick's day. Living in a country other than Ireland now I think it's kind of weird that most other places seem to celebrate it to a much greater extent than Ireland. I mean I don't ever remember Belfast having a parade with a large amount of inflatables or having to queue for 6 blocks to get into a bar. As for the green beer...what's wrong with Guinness or Harp...at least they're the correct colour and actually Irish, imagine that! However I will admit I miss having the day off and watching the rugby.
I think what annoys me...like massively annoys me is this thing where everyone tries to prove their Irish. This isn't an annoyance which stems from me being 100% Northern Irish, nope, this stretches to all the sort of claims like this whether it be Irish, Spanish or Australian. I think it annoys me more because I live somewhere which is classed as a 'new' country and therefore a lot of people have immigrated here as supposed to being born here....myself included.
My peeve comes to a head on days like St Paddy's Day. Last year I heard someone proudly claim they were 1/12th Irish....yeah...and I'm 1/18th Apache. Seriously...that is how ridiculous it sounds. I don't even understand how you can be 1/12th something...how do you even work that out! I mean it doesn't annoy me if someone was to say oh my parents are Irish or my grandparents are Irish...even great grandparents. It's this 1/12th, 1/9th 1/whatever...what do you base this calculation on?!!? Clearly if you're telling someone you're a fraction Irish...you're not Irish. Like I said this goes for every country not just Ireland. I don't understand why people do it. Are they unwilling to say where they were born? Is there a need to belong to more than one country? I just don't really get it.
It gets better when they start to run through the shopping list of countries that a fraction of them belongs to. It usually goes something like 1/12th Irish, 1/9th Norwegian, 1/6th Japanese...I don't even know how they calculate this. To me it sounds like one of those ridiculous claims on Jerry Springer...I'm having an affair with my mum's brother's sister's best friend's uncle's hoover and want to marry it. I honestly don't get it...however next time someone says it to me I am tempted to say I am 1/6th Mexican just to see the looks on their faces at my blatant lie.

Growing Old in the Eyes of 4 Year Old.

I was driving my son to daycare this morning and explaining to him that his Granny and Grandpa are going away for a week because Grandpa has a meeting.
This led into a discussion about what exactly a meeting is. Once before once of my parent's friend's asked him in church what a meeting was and Ben had replied 'somewhere people go to talk a lot and eat'...I'd say he got it pretty much right. So today we broached this topic again and I explained, based on experience, it's where you go to hear people talk and for you to talk about really boring things that make you think about the 100 other places you'd rather be, such as eating your own eye out with a spoon. So Ben's take on meetings was...
"Mommy, when I'm older I'm going to go to a meeting where I talk for a long time about fireman jelly" (sounds like a better meeting than the ones I've been to...sign me up!
We stopped to get petrol on the way and when I got back into the car he decided to tell me what kind of car he wanted when he grows up...
"Mommy, when I'm older I want a red car with flashing red lights on the front and flashing red lights on the back and a siren"
"You mean you want a fire engine Ben?"
"Yes a fire engine...a red one"

You'd never guess that Ben wants to be a fireman with a fire engine and his favourite colour is red at all! At least he'll have his whole future planned out before he's 18. He can drive around in his fire engine holding long meetings about fire engine jelly!

The Art of Using a Forklift Truck

So March 2nd eventually came and I closed on my new house...yay! Two years of waiting and 2 and a half years of living in my parent's basemment came to an end. It was kind of sad and scary. Since I moved here I've lived with them and suddenly I'm not. It is exciting don't get me wrong but it's kind of weird. After a lot of kaffufal with the builders, mortgage people and lawyers I'm eventually in. I got the keys on the 2nd and started to move some of my stuff over. While I was waiting for my deliveries and the internet/cable/phone guy to hook me up I promptly, in full me style, did something so very retarded. I live in a townhouse with LOTS of stairs. I decided to carry a box up the stairs and slipped going up the stairs and heard a loud crack. Oh the pain that was now shooting through my foot.
I decided after I tried really hard to be a big girl and not cry that my foot was just in shock and would be fine...so I carried on moving my stuff and limping for the rest of the day. I got into my car and tried to put on my shoes to no avail with tears in my eyes. My mum then told me I should maybe go to A&E if it was really that bad. My mum is a nurse so therefore is totally ashamed at my low level of pain tolerance. However, I would like to point out I couldn't even get my slippers on and had to go to the hospital in slipper socks. I looked like a complete idiot because not only was a wearing slipper socks but every so often I had to stop limping because, as I told my mum...'my foot doesn't bend that way'. My mum had to leave me to go pick up my son for me so I was sitting in a wheelchair that looked more like a shopping cart wearing socks and feeling like an eejit. After a few x rays and an examination I was told I have a severely bruised foot (yup...feelin' like a bigger twat) and the put a bandage on it and sent me home.
After having been a tad stupid and hurting my foot I had to spend the following few days wearing tartan slippers with white pom poms to work...looked very dapper with my pencil skirt. I think everyone thought I'd just been let out of the mad house for the day. However the banjaxed foot meant that I wasn't able to lift anything on Saturday to assit with moving my furniture so my parents had to come to my aid. My mum is like a puzzle genius so she was trying to decipher how on earth to tilt things and move things to get them around the stairs.
We managed to come across 2 things that just wouldn't go...my bed spring and my solid pine bookcase. After attempting to sweet talk the builders on site we managed to get help from a lovely guy called Moses who forklifted them over my balcony. I think my heart was in my throat as me, my mum, my dad and my neighbour (from his balcony) tried to pull the furniture off the fork lift...especially when there was a crunch from the book shelf being pushed into the brick work. It's all ok though and I'm now officially moved in. I have 2 boxes left to unpack and some things my builder needs to fix...plaster stuff, paint stuff, fix my cupboards etc but it looks pretty spiffy.
My son on his first night sleeping there was a tad wary of the massive vault that leads to a skylight in his room. It's a nice feature but a tad scary. I told him my friend who's a guy thought it was super cool and was really jealous so that seemed to appease him. He has a little anxiety about the move because for as long as he can remember he's lived with his grandparents...he doesn't remember when he had his own room before that. So on his first day in the house he had a few wetting accidents but we aren't supposed to talk about those ever again. He's been fine since and is adjusting to not seeing his grandparents all the time. Instead he has claimed the house as his and one of the settees...telling me that the other I can use sometimes lol. Nice to see he chose the 3 seater for himself! Boys!!
So I'm down to 2 boxes left to unpack and some builders to chase to get things fixed but otherwise I am now a fully fledged home owner with horrible bills and actual proper house stuff to deal with...yay!! So at 24, with the house, child, car and career I think I may have some how managed to turn into a grown up...I'm not sure if I ok'd that decision or not but I seem to be there.

Thor

So today it's snowing...ick. I guess I can't complain since we've had a mild winter especially compared to last year. My little mighty machine (my car) has loved the lack of snow...especially after the morning his front bumper struggled to get over the drifts. He's called Thor because he looks all mean and his back lights point down in the centre like he's pulling a mean face...however he's a bit of a sissy about the snow....wants to drift as supposed to drive (bit lazy I think).
I had to leave him in for his service a couple of weeks ago and asked them to look at his speaker because the drivers side stopped working a month after I got him. Well it works but intermittenedly...which is no good. I'm driving along thinking that the music isn't really that loud while the passenger is getting deafened... "MOMMY!!! It's too loud!!!"...until..."Louder! I like this one...'Don't loooossse touch'". Although when I took it in they kind of were sort of trying to accuse me of removing the trim on the door to fix/alter the speaker. However my car is under warranty so surely anyone with a brain would've thought why would she do that instead of bringing it into us. So I told the girl on the service desk...'no I'm too lazy to be bothered to do that thanks'...at least she laughed. Then told me they'd order me a new speaker and trim and would call me wednesday...last wednesday...I'm still waiting...*frustration*
Even with his banjaxed speaker and sissy snow behaviour I love my Thor. I just wish Mitsubishi would hurry up and call me...and not the guy who told me I should have 3 more kids and possibly hinted with him (he was a 40ish Indian guy who was shorter than me). Gave me his business card so we could 'make sales' which I promptly lost...it was a scary time in the showroom that day.

You have to kiss a few frogs...then there's a toad.

Is it really unreasonable to expect my ex to come see our son without bringing the girl he cheated on me with to meet him?? This time as daddy's girlfriend and not as a 'friend' of mummy. Then for me to think the justification of it is even more ridiculous...'she's paying for it and it'll probably be the only holiday we get this year'. Considering he doesn't give me enough for 3days worth of daycare for our son due to 'being skint' I would've thought holidays wouldn't be a necessity.
Is that really that unreasonable to think he might come on his own to see his son...especially since she had to be warned by one of her friends to not try to come between him and his son again. What happened to father son time?...that is meant to be important is it not?

I hope not all men are like this...because really with zero sensitivity or grasp on what should be acceptable from my ex I'm losing hope.

Ohhhh what does this do???

For the technologically challenged amongst us...and for those of us who have to deal with them...

She's up....she's down...yup out cold....

Well it's been a while. Work has been hectic to say the least which doesn't leave much time for coffee break ramblings...or coffee breaks in general.
2010 has been off to a rather interesting start. Firstly I will say I'm liking the not so snowy weather...it's great! I'm liking the not having to get up at the crack of dawn to go and brush snow off my car (thankfully my lovely dad shovels the drive for me) and spend 3 hours getting to work sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. Last year this happened one morning and I was close to abandoning my car because I couldn't stand sitting in it any longer. That was the same morning that some old bald guy in the lane beside was staring at me constantly...so much so that when I went to drive off he also went to drive off (still staring sideways)...straight into the back of a mini van. His new mazda looked a smidge compact after that!
Work has got busier with some big changes happening but I'm really enjoying it. Except I fainted in work yesterday...again. Not embarrassing at all....hmmm. I get about 2 seconds notice due to lack of hearing then I'm out. The worst thing is I come round and feel totally normal...then a little while later I start to feel dizzy and yukkie again. So due to this having happened a few times over the past couple of years I thought I should go to the doctor. The doctor at the walk in clinic wasn't the nicest because it wasn't my normal walk in. He was very efficient and wanted me out of there. So after being asked if I was pregnant numerous times he sent me for blood tests and an ECG. I get home with my request form and show it to my mum and there's another test on it so we google it. Give you two guesses what it was for...yup, you guessed it...pregnancy test. Was the numerous times I said 'NO', 'definately not', 'nope...think I'd know' not good enough??
I went for the tests today...took my mum because I'm a sissy. I'm the worst patient when it comes to taking blood. Last time I went they tried on 3 different occassions and tried my arm, wrist and hand and still got nothing out of me. Plus, I faint...even done it lying down...my mum is a nurse and wanted to disown me for that one. So I was dreading having the blood taken...although I have to say it was actually ok and she got her 4 tubes no bother which is so unusual for me. My mum was quite suprise when I walked out after 15 minutes since she was expecting to have to scoop me off the floor. Hopefully, fingers crossed I'll find out what is wrong and it won't be anything too bad. Hoping it's just fatigue.
Started the year off on a good note though, decided to start a diet on the 20th of December. I think I might be slightly masochistic because I spent Christmas seeing lots of yummy food and having to watch it pass me by. I am thankfully 13lbs down...only another 14lbs to go! So deprivation was rewarding lol.
I have less than 6 weeks until I move into my new house...yay!! Got informed of my massive closing costs...not amused...so far beyond amused that amused would be like a pin point of a sunset in the distance of another country. However the house looks pretty so I'm glossing over that point for a minute. My house may be decorated with furniture in a new artistic format called 'le box de cardboard'. I'm really excited and honestly can't wait to just get in and know that my hard work has paid off. Unfortunately with the closing costs my want to apply for a divorce has to be put on hold. So I shall remain separated for the foreseeable future. Fingers crossed he files for it. That was a lovely thing I discovered online...his girlfriend confirming their affair online after he'd lied to me during that brief period when we attempted to be friends...really classy and just not cool.
So really 2010 has been off to an interesting start...including my son telling me last week he really wanted a baby sister...ummmmm...how about no. I'm hoping the year gets infinately better and I have some great developments.....however I'd settle for not being subjected to the extreme mortification of fainting in public ever again.