In 2003 I stumbled into a very odd relationship, not one I probably would’ve found through any other means but through an odd line of friends. For 7 years I have been friends with an ex boyfriend’s friend’s friend...very odd. Our relationship morphed from a general liking and attraction into a solid friendship that has endured many years, many arguments, much stubbornness and on my part, quite a few tears. While we never ended up as boyfriend and girlfriend, possibly because one of us would’ve killed the other, we did create a kind of brother sister relationship. One in which we don’t appear to be able to let the other walk out of our life. The prospect of that is pretty much unthinkable. We fight...more than we should...angry, hurtful words, which at the end of the day, is all they are. Spells of not talking for a few months have happened but all in all I know that all I’ve ever needed to do is text or email and there he is with open ears to help, comfort, console and cheer up. I can only hope I’ve done the same for him.
Our friendship started when I moved away for university and he lived at home. We kept up via phone calls, msn and texts then met up when I went home. This was when we weren’t having a huff with each other (which I know he will claim was all me...his fault for saying retarded things). It stayed strong through my pregnancy, marriage and the breakup of my marriage. It even survived my move to Canada. Although we haven’t seen each other face to face in many years now we have always remained in contact.
Unbeknown to both of us his world was about to crumble in a pretty massive and devastating way. What happened I cannot disclose and it’s not my place. A friend who had always supported me now needed me to return the favour. Our communication is now through letters which, to be honest, is daunting as you stare at a blank page when what you really want to do is sit down, talk to them and give them a massive hug. I fill pages rambling about my life jumping from one subject to the next filling him in on me and my son, trying to make him smile or laugh as a muddle through one disaster to the next.
I guess after 7 years of knowing each other NOW is when we actually get to know each other more. It always seems to be when the big situations arise that you find out things you never would have before and find the people that stand by you. I don’t think enough people send letters. Not enough people actually take time to think about what they write or say to people anymore. So many things and meanings can come from a sentence or even a word. I think if everyone was forced to write letters to each other you would find the people you actually have a genuine connection with. Maybe that’s what they should do for married couples in therapy. Everyone should have to commit to a year of letter writing before getting married. Actually having to think and formulate a letter to someone you care about and detail what you’re thinking, what you like and what you’re doing. It’s a bit daunting, even to a friend that I’ve known for so long I stare at a page before starting to ramble hoping he gets all my quirks by now.
Through all my pages upon pages of rants, rambles and sarcastic wit I hope that what my friend realises most is that I’m still there for him, I love him and I miss him.
