Yesterday I decided to have an adventure with my ferocious beastie and also attempt to grow his knowledge...a little unsuccessfully. We jumped in the car and went into Toronto...somewhere I realised yesterday my son has only been twice. Our little adventure took us to the ROM which we had never been to before despite my love of museums. I don't get to go to museums that much anymore because my monster's attention span lasts about 5 seconds....then he wants to run through the halls. So I thought that since he's now 5 maybe we could advance past the science centre to somewhere mommy would love.
The ROM is an amazing building and if I'd had the time I'd have taken longer to absorb some of the architecture...however ferocious pestered me from the moment we went in to 'go to the kid's section!?!?'. I got a brief look around the section on China before we were off like bullets to see dinosaurs. Ferocious beastie suddenly didn't feel quite so ferocious when he saw the size of these magnificent beasts. They were pretty amazing...and true to the promise we went to the kiddies section where he got to wear goggles and brush off bones.
When he had brushed off enough of the bones to realise he was uncovering a dinosaur...and after a larger boy had stood on his foot which hampered ferocious from continuing...we moved on to the next section where I came face to face with a horrendous beast...a massive catfish. They say 'life size' but what they really mean in 3 times this so called 'life size'. In my haste to escape I nearly tripped over feriocous and walked into a little old lady. It was not my finest moment. I did however manage to grab ferocious' attention with some dead mice, chipmunks and bats. The bats were pretty awesome and in some cases fairly ugly...and yes I'm pretty sure they felt the same way about me. And so we entered 'the bat cave'...infact we entered it 6 times just to be sure that it was indeed awesome. It was and it was also ferocious' favourite part.
I did pretty well...minus the 'life size' catfish. I avoided the bird section...which I'm sorry but who really wants to be surrounded by lots of birds suspended in mid air...Alfred Hitchcock eat your heart out! We made our way back to the stairs which have this amazing rhino right at the top going into another section. It looked so cool...I really wanted to go see it...then just as I suggested it I saw out of the corner of my eye what I can only describe as my own personal hell. Lurking there in the background suspended from the ceiling looking straight at me like it knew....a massive fish...and I do mean massive. Oh yes....the ROM has a fish section. All it would need is some flames and a red man with a pointy stick and I would literally be in my own personal version of hell on earth. These are not even like the catfish...they are not 'life size' (x3...by the way I literally do air quotes there)...these are like 6ft by 3ft giant monsters! Needless to say I told Ben that we were actually in the best place to observe the rhino and that the rest of that section was just more 'boring mommy things'...yes, yes I lied but really I don't want 50 strangers to see me crying and gripped with fear stuck to the spot. Plus Ben has learnt to well from me and my mum and would probably stand and point and laugh.
After not being allowed to look at anything more than the armour section we left and headed to get some food. After we encountered a man who smelt like pee being forced out of the shopping centre connected to the car park I embarked on the adventure to find the parking ticket pay booth thingy ma bobber. I had to go and ask information...because you really can't take me anywhere...I am useless at finding things. I manage to get the machine to take my ticket...the people in front had bigger problems which made me feel infinitely better....yes, I rejoice in other people's stupidity. We're walking to the car and there's this nice shiny blue lancer sitting and monster says 'there's our car'...to which I respond 'no...our car isn't that clean'...'oh yeah...it's THAT lancer...mommy you need a car wash' (he says with total distaste).
I manage to work out what way to drive out of the underground car park...which for me is quite miraculous I could do that in less than 10minutes....the whole time being told the benefits of a carwash from the back seat. Just as I'm putting the ticket in the machine I hear the phrase come from the back which reminds me why I love my son more than anything else on this earth....
"HEY MOMMY...WE NEED A WHIZZ-A-MA-DOODLE!?!?"
"What's a whizz-a-ma-doodle?"
"It's a machine that you drive into and it pushes really hard and steam comes out and it blasts you out way into the sky and sends you to a carwash where you can get your car cleaned"
"Yup...clearly I need a whizz-a-ma-doodle"
"....and a carwash mommy"
