Totally rational fears

I was at a work function with some co workers last night and we started to discuss phobias. Everyone seems to think mine is a very weird and irrational phobia...I swear it's not...well maybe to everyone else it is. For those who don't know me I'm petrified of fish. Like scared stupid 110% of them. Bugs etc don't bother me, spiders don't bother me...fish send me into a blind panic.

I can't pin point when my fear started...maybe whatever triggered it I blocked out. I just know I was like this when I was in primary school so it's been a fear for a long time. The one time I clearly remember an incident that involved my fear was a form 3 geography trip to a place in Co. Antrim called Ballintoy. I guess the biggest give away that this would not be a good place for me was the fact the bus stopped at Ballintoy Harbour. In pictures it's a lovely place..in reality for me it was hell on earth. We were meant to study rock formations and chalk etc but there was one thing that stuck out for me from the whole trip.

The group was split into smaller groups to make us more manageable so we weren't running wild around the rocks and forming a rebellion against the teachers. My group was led into a small hut and everyone sat around on benches screwed to the wall. It was fine...very smelly but fine. Well...I thought it was until I stood up. When I stood up I discovered the floor was slippy and squishy...when I looked down all over the floor was fish guts and underneath the benches there was part of a gutted fish. I think that's when I wanted to puke and cry. After that one trip I was off school for 2 days...genuinely ill. My mum's a nurse so I wasn't allowed off unless I was actually deathly sick...until I was in 6th year then she would let me off to do work at home (thanks mum!). I think I was about 13 when that trip happened....11years on and I still remember in clearly.

Fish are a very real phobia...it's the eyes, mouth, fins, skin...general lack of legs...oh dear goodness fish with legs would escalate it to a whole new level of fear. It's not even just fish now...it's everything from the sea...totally sucks but I'd rather stay away than hyperventilate in the water. I do admit slightly irrationally when people send me pictures of fish I do end up standing on a chair kind of like they're on the floor...which I know isn't really possible.

One of my friends suggested to me I should get an empty fish bowl for my desk and gradually add things to it. Start off with the bowl...then add water...then rocks..keep building it up. Then when I get to the fish part I can start with a plastic fish and build to a real one.

All I can say is if someone buys me a fish...I'm getting a cat.