When I was younger on T.V. back home there were these terrible drinking and driving advertisements. Apparently they did their job as they will probably be forever etched on my memory (along with the anti terrorism ones...I can never listen to that song 'the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon' now). There was one of the driving ads which had the song playing 'you don't bring me flowers anymore'. I remember the song and the advertisement very well. Anyway, when I hear that song I think of two things...one is the advertisement....pretty effective over 10 years later. The other is a little sadder for me.
I was explaining this week that when someone gives me flowers I get a little emotional. I try hard to make sure they don't know this and swallow the hard lump in my throat...it would kind of be embarrassing to be all teary eyed when someone gives you flowers. The reason behind the emotion stems from my ex. During the 3 years we were together I really wanted him to buy me flowers. Every Valentine's Day, Birthday, Anniversary and Mother's Day I sat and watched everyone else around me get flowers from their other halves but I never got them. In 3 years I received flowers 3 times.
Once was our first valentines day and they were a bunch of 6 minitures roses from tescos supermarket (you know the ones that if you buy them late enough at night they cost 1GBP). The second time I actually picked flowers up and told him he was paying for them....then he complained that they looked dead because they started to droop...only because they were tulips (which he never realised or cared is my favourite flower). The last time was our first and last wedding anniversary...and my boss and one of our work collegues told him to get them for me. He got my white stargazer lillies...from tescos. I don't really like stargazer lillies because of the orange pollen which stains...it made it worse when he yelled at me for him rubbing up against them.
It's funny how something so simple can make someone so happy. It wasn't that he refused to buy them because they were flowers and died. It was the fact that he refused to buy them because I wanted them. It hurt a lot. I put up with the crap presents from tescos (guys take note never buy your wife an oven mit) or the cds that weren't even my taste that I had to pretend I liked (Also note - Deftones and Katie Melua are not even in the same genre). Every time it came to giving a present there was just so little thought or effort. It built up into a general hurt and soreness when events came. The presents themselves didn't matter as such...it was the lack of caring and the refusal to just do the one thing I wanted.
It probably sounds stupid to most people but now I get that little lump in my throat when people give me flowers. Not because I don't love them...because I do...a lot...but because there's still that little bit of hurt even after 3 years have past. They symbolize a little something more to me.
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